Autumnaged Care
Autumnaged Care

Understanding the complexity of grief

Autumnaged Care

Understanding the complexity of grief

Grief can be a complicated and challenging journey.

For those that have gone through periods of grief, many describe that they have felt lost in a sea of it.

It is vitally important that when speaking about grief and its complexities that the utmost kindness, gentleness and tact be used.

If you are currently experiencing grief we want to acknowledge it, we want you to know that you are cared for, thought of, and while we don’t know where you are in your journey, we want to be alongside you for it.

Experts from the whole spectrum of psychological study agree that grieving can be an extremely subjective experience.

Where someone may be in an intense state of grief for years, another may have it subside after months.

There is no one way to grieve and this brings its own complications in management and coping strategies.


You are not alone


One of the significant challenges people felt, who were going through grief, is that they were alone in it, that no one else could understand.

A study found that of 200 consultations with doctors, over 25% of people professed going through a time of grief.

From losing a loved one to being separated or significant life changes, loss, a drastic change from the norm was found to bring on periods of grief.

There are people out there who have felt as completely out of control, filled with sorrow and confusion.

You are not alone in your journey to cope and grasp for hope.


Communal creatures


Dr. Shear of Columbia University says that, “we don’t grieve well alone.”

Of those going through deep periods of pain and loss, some have found that in community, in finding support among family and friends, healing could slowly start to occur.

Additionally studies found people have found solace in reaching out to people who have been through similar experiences of loss.

Yet through it all, it is a deeply intricate and emotional journey.

People have spoken about wanting to burrow into themselves and talk to no one.

If you have a loved one going through grieve, seek to keep an eye on them and a helping hand.

Many people studied have expressed that they didn’t know how to grieve, how to manage their emotions and their day-to-day lives.

It is here that those of us who can cope have the opportunity to step in and assist where appropriate and needed.


Permission to grieve


Studies have shown that one of the difficulties faced by those encountering loss is that they did not feel that had the right to grieve or to even stop grieving.

Spouses who have had to place their loved ones in care or had a loved one pass away after a long struggle with illness have spoken of not feeling ok to grieve.

Feelings of guilt at having to make a difficult decision or wanting a loved one to remain alive but in pain have complicated the grieving seasons for many.

It is here that medical professionals, from doctors to nurses and aged care have the opportunity to walk loved ones through their absolute right to grieve change and loss.

Dr Parkes in his study speaks of the need people may have to initiate grieving and in some cases to be able to move on from their grief.


Seek help


The common narrative in Western society is to manage and cope by one’s own strength.

Grief in many instances, completely flattens that premise.

Dealing with powerful and sometimes gut-wrenchingly painful emotions can, understandably, be incredibly difficult to navigate at all, let alone.

Dr Parkes advocates that health care professionals can help to assist people with navigating loss.

There is utterly no shame in seeking help.

From Dr. Parkes to Dr. Shear and others at the forefront of grief management, it is immensely wise to partner with another to navigate your grief.

Dr. Shear and others highlight the wisdom in attempting to find a narrative for your grief, a helping hand to help you discover who you are and how to navigate seemingly impossible feelings of fear and loss.

Whether you are grieving or walking alongside someone who is, know that there is help ready.

Seek out your local grief counsellor, partner with a support group and know that the possibility for things to get better is always out there.

Even if you can’t see it, even if it is not cognitively possible for you to think of, things can get better.

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